Iphones, Planes and Pleasure

I woke up early yesterday morning with great anticipation. I was catching a plane to Greensboro, North Carolina. The official reason for the trip was to attend the DPE Summer Board meetings. It just so happens that I will be staying at my son's and daughter in law's place and sharing a room with my granddaughter.

I had finally gotten a decent flight to North Carolina. I usually arrive in Raleigh late in the evening and don't reach Winston-Salem until after Riley my has gone to bed. But this flight was to get me into Greensboro (only 20 minutes away from Winston) by 4:00 p.m.

Except my iphone failed me!!!!!!! I landed in Chicago, easily moved through customs and was at the gate in enough time (or so my iphone told me) to have lunch and hang out for a while. My flight left at 1:08 p.m. When I got to the gate after I had eaten and read for a while it was 12:10 - almost an hour until the flight took off.

Except in Chicago it was 1:10 - my iphone hadn't changed time zones - and I hadn't checked the local time anywhere.

I went on standby at 4 and landed in Greensboro by 7:00 p.m. Too late to spend any time with Riley - a disappointment - but in plenty of time to visit with Jay and Dori.

It is earning season so Dori was focused on that work which allowed Jay and me to go out for dinner. We walked over to the 4th Street Filling Station and sat on their deck/patio. It was hot (still over 85 degrees) and humid but the conversation was delightful. We ate and talked and talked some more.

When we were done we walked down to the Tate - a new restaurant/bar on 4th just past Cherry - the 'action' street in Winston-Salem. There we had some drinks and a cheese plate and talked even more.

The talking continued until we eventually made it home around 10 p.m.

I always look forward to spending time with my children. Riley is a very special little girl in my life but she isn't the only child in my life. Despite the fact that my children are all adults now the time spent with them - especially time spent where we actually engage in each other's lives - is precious and is savoured.

The next few days will be filled with pleasure - I am enjoying being on the DPE Board - and spending time playing with my granddaughter and being with my children can't be beat

Granddaughter

I am preoccupied by my granddaughter. Its not interfering with anything but she seems to be a constant presence in my mind. She has brought me back to that time in my life when we had our children and I was so fascinated by how they grew and changed.

When my oldest son arrived it was overwhelming - work, helping Helene (my wife), taking care of him, studying, being sleep-deprived. But one of my professors, who was a wise and perceptive woman, told me that I wasn't paying enough attention. She wasn't blaming me but she said that almost anyone that was in my situation behaved the same way. Except, she said, that you only get to experience this once with each child and who knows if there will be more children.

She told me that I needed to focus, pay attention, watch and think. The best advice she gave me was to try to look at my child with 'new eyes' every time I saw him.

She never used the word but what she was really trying to tell me was to be 'mindful' (Continuous, clear awareness of the present moment) of what was happening to me and to my son.

It was the best advice I ever received concerning my kids.

I paid attention and what I saw boggled my mind. Each time he went for a nap he woke up different/changed. Each time I saw him again for the first time after being at school, or studying, or just being away was like I was seeing him for the first time.

I saw him change. I saw him develop. I saw him move through the tiny, little and sometimes huge changes that happen to babies.

I was able to do this with all my children.

I fell more deeply in love with them because of how I saw them. I recognized, appreciated and tried to understand change, growth, development. And each of them did all of these things in their own unique ways. I saw their individuality in the way they developed and how their personality took shape.

They just weren't the 'baby' they were living, dynamic, pleasure machines.

And so I think about my granddaughter and wonder about my parents and in-laws.

My mother used to remind us that when her parents left the 'old country' around 1921 her father never saw his parents again. He never heard their voices again. And they never saw his children - their grandchildren. My mother's mother was more fortunate - her mother was with them in Canada.

Well when I moved away from Winnipeg I did see my parents again and I did hear their voices. An aside: My mother now almost instantly recognizes my voice on the phone but has a hard time recognizing me in person!

My parents and in-laws saw and spoke to their grandchildren regularly but we lived far away and they didn't get that day-by-day experience.

Did they appreciate the changes when they saw the kids? Could they relate to their grandchildren directly, personally? It was a different generation - a generation that felt that kids were kids and weren't that interested in developing personal relationships - they loved their grandchildren but it was a more abstract thing than a day to day personal relationship.

And so I think about my granddaughter.

I imagine the way she moves, cries, eats, sleeps and I imagine the changes she must be going through everyday.

My imagination is fed by regular updates - we have inexpensive long distance phone lines, we have Skype and webcams, we have the time and the money to go and see her regularly.

Its not likely that very many of my grandchildren will live just down the street. But this is a small world and we are fortunate in having wonderful relationships with all of our children.

The changes will happen - we won't be there to see every single one - but that's what parents are for - we're there to enjoy and support and see the big chunks.

What a wonderful time

Boarding, Baby and Boards

I went to North Carolina last week for the weekend. I'm on the board of Delta Pi Epsilon, the Business Education research organization and we had our meetings in Greensboro, North Carolina.

That was the official reason for the trip.

But everyone knows that there was another reason for that trip and her name is Riley. I stayed with my kids in Winston Salem (only a 30 minute drive to Greensboro) and had a few hours each day with Riley.

I was fascinated with my children when they were born. I loved holding them and interacting with them. Eye contact, silly peekaboo games and stupid noises were my stock in trade. Riley is a bit young for that yet but I'm practising. She was a joy to be with and I think that joy will only increase as she gets older.



The Board meetings were very interesting. We are in the midst of great change in our profession and for this organization and I feel privileged to be able to be a part of all of this change.

I had to fly through Toronto on this trip and the weirdest thing happened on the way to the meetings.

I made it through U.S. customs and was on my way to the gate when I encountered a roadblock. Yes, a roadblock in the middle of the concourse. Men were asked to line up on one side and women were to line up on the other. We were then called out, one by one, to be investigated, patted down, interrogated and generally looked over by Mounties! I hope the fellow who patted me down enjoyed it as much as I did - my goodness he was thorough.

Men to the left and women to the right was disturbing in and of itself but when they separated two elderly people it was more than disturbing. The man was clearly dependent on the woman and became distraught and confused when the men's line started moving faster than the women's line and he lost sight of her. A little reverse profiling here - or maybe just some common sense - would have been appropriate here. They did need to be 'investigated' but in this case they didn't need to be separated. Blind bureaucracy!